Whoa. College.
I am here and am loving it.
Everything is so new, so fresh, so...peaceful.
Due to this busy lifestyle of rush, sorority, classes, friends, dinners, studying, etc., I am feeling more and more overwhelmed with finding time with the Lord. Never in my life have I struggled to find time for the Lord. Sure, there were days I let slip by and I thought I was busy, but this is just a new level. With all of this busyness and hustle and bustle, I have yet to think and gather my thoughts on how my soul is handling college.
I came home tonight a little past midnight, deciding to go see friends the eve of my birthday than do lab homework (i.e. me sitting here typing this now, when I should be working on it haha), my roommate is now fast asleep and I am left alone with my thoughts, my Geography work, her snoring, and the Lord.
College life is sinking in.
I am loving it, but will I ever find that core group of girls that will keep me accountable? Call me out when I am a complete idiot? Will I find a church to call home? Will I even pass classes?
Whenever I felt bogged down these first 3 weeks of school, I here the Holy Spirit's gentle whisper to the depths of my soul, so my innermost workings.
"Be still and I AM God. "
That's it. Nothing else is more sufficient, more comforting than these words; however, I hadn't fully realized it until now.
This is a verse I had grown up hearing, and probably most church kids do. But I don't think I had ever dwelled on its meaning and implications before until now. As the Lord kept pounding me with this verse whenever I felt weighted, I knew in my head that I shouldn't worry that the Lord's got me, but I couldn't tell my heart and emotions that.
Now back to present, Geography.
All the random worries that I have felt sporadically and singularly the past 3 weeks came rushing past me like the gust of wind caused by a speeding train. In the back of my head, I kept hearing, "Be still, be still, be still..."
So then I decide to just listen to Psalms while I work on Geography, starting naturally with Psalm 46:
God is our refuge and strength,
a very present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way,
though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam,
though the mountains tremble at its swelling.
There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy habitation of the Most High.
God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved;
God will help her when morning dawns.
The nations rage, the kingdoms totter;
he utters his voice, the earth melts.
The Lord of hosts is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
Come, behold the works of the Lord,
how he has brought desolations on the earth.
He makes wars cease to the end of the earth;
he breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
he burns the chariots with fire.
“Be still, and know that I am God.
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth!”
The Lord of hosts is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
It rocked my world. Such a short chapter, and one I have heard numerous times, began to hold a whole new meaning to me. God is an almighty, powerful, ferocious God. He is Protector, Healer, Father, Lover, Friend, Comforter, Deliverer, Redeemer, Savior, Listener, Counselor, Peace Maker. He is alive and well and He is here. If I were to just rest in this fact and rest in the knowledge of who He is and that He is my Creator, my worries and fear vanish in the light and wake of His infinite wonders.
So now, starting my 19th year being still and knowing He is God, and regardless of my day, He still reigns.
Goodnight, all. And may you be filled with His Spirit, love, and joy.
Madi Mae
p.s. I love the part of the verse where it says "He utters His voice, and the earth melts." AHH! Just stirs my soul, so much.
