I Believe in Woman

Women need to stop putting other women down.
In recent months, more and more articles on feminist/feminism have popped up on newsfeeds, journal websites, as well as in my conversations. These have always been present, I’m sure, and I am just becoming more socially aware of them/on the look out for them, but regardless- they have been in abundance in my life as of late. In addition, the topic of feminism has been brought to the forefront of more conversations (especially after Robin Thicke’s god awful music video this summer and Miley’s performance at the VMA’s) where it normally (probably) wouldn’t be found. From topics of what defines a woman/what a woman should do or be/ what kind of female should she be for males/ what kind of female males should be attractive to/ how a feminist should look or work or dress/ so-on-so-forth.

Before I continue, let make another statement plain and clear:

I am a feminist.
I know. Shocking, right?

Christian.

White.

Southern.
Living in a small, conservative, college town.

And a feminist?

“But Madi! That’s preposterous! You can’t be all those things?!”

Why do we insistent on putting people in categories? In boxes? Humans are not math equations to figure out. X+Y does not always equal Z in the human life. It can. But it doesn’t have to.

So-Yes. I am all the above things, but all of the above things are not just me.

But I digress.

I am a feminist because:

 I believe in Woman.

Many of the articles I have read regarding femininity and feminism as of late usually takes two sides:

1.) I am this type of woman and this is the type that all women should be because this is the best way to live life.

2.) This other type of woman is wrong because it is not how I live life so let’s bash what I don’t really understand.

ERRRRRRR*buzzer noise* both wrong. Sorry bud, who deemed you dictator of human existence and how females should live their lives? Okay- thought so.

Feminism is about empowering women to see their potential as an individual.

If her dream is to be CEO of her own company one day- kudos. If her dream is to have five kids and a minivan filled with soccer balls- by all means, go forth and prosper. If her dream is to be CEO of a company, have five children, and minivan filled with soccer balls- more power to you. Feminism allows women to realize they can be both, all, or none of these things! It is about reminding women they have the right to become whoever/whatever it is they want to become- encouraging woman to explore their talents and the potential they possess.

For me, if I’m being honest, children and commitment terrify me. It is much easier for me to imagine working at a job I love and am passionate about than being a stay at home mom. Even if I end up having kids one day, I will still have to hold down some sort of job to keep my sanity (I can’t even sit still for 5 minutes, let alone stay at home with kids all day, noppppeeee). For a while, I held the wrong notion that the women who desired desperately to be mothers were not thinking outside the box and were limiting their full potential. I was wrong. Motherhood is a full time job. Marriage is extremely hard work (not that I know from experience, but friendships/relationships are hard, as is. I can’t imagine LIVING with someone FOREVER). These are noble and worthy causes and necessary for human life to continue and function. Who am I to deem my dreams any more honorable than someone else’s? My desire is that those women realize they have the potential to work in any field and succeed in any capacity, from jobs to relationships to passions and aspirations. This can and does include families.

The same goes for my fellow ladies afraid of commitment/children like myself. We have the capacity to be wonderful wives and mothers. Some of these gifts and talents are going to come easier to some than others, but feminism is about embracing every area of life that any woman decides to pursue.

Furthermore, a female who is naturally more gentle or soft spoken should not be discounted as any less powerful or possessing any less of a voice. She has a story and that story needs to be heard. A female who is naturally louder and (as the world would deem) “a lot” should not feel any less feminine.  Women come in all shapes and sizes; this includes voices and personalities and stories.

Women need to quit placing other women in boxes.  Humans are not square. We are not designed to be placed inside a box.

And for those Christians reading- this includes the spiritual, biblical box of what a “Proverbs 31” woman “looks” like. If we are being honest with ourselves, probably only 1/3 (if that) of us even know what the hell is being described there. We just know that it is what we are “supposed” to be. By throwing this verse around, we are covering broken hearts of our fellow sisters with a verse that shows where they failed, forgetting to show them where grace and mercy can be found. We think that because the Proverbs 31 woman was a mother and wife that this is the only way we can serve God. ERRR*buzzer noises* wrong again. She was a hard worker, up before the sunset, etc. In addition, allowing the male to lead in the relationship does not take away any of the power and skills you possess as a female. You are equipped in a way that a man is not. And vice versa. In a relationship, you both need each other; where he is lacking, you will be strong; where you are lacking, he will be strong. This is why it works. We are created in the image of God. Maybe if we stop placing others in a box, we will gain the tools to stop placing God in a box as well.

So about all these articles about what a woman should be/do/think/feel/love/eat/blahblahbalbhaldjf BARF.

How about we stop telling women what the proper way to live is and start encouraging one another to find what way of life works for them, and pursue it whole heartedly (with or without a man. News flash, he won’t bring you happiness and you are worth more than cost of that ring on your left hand- but this is another soapbox for another day).  

This is not an “us against them” game. We are all humans with desires, dreams, hearts, souls, stories, voices. Let us treat each other accordingly, encouraging women to encourage women. 

p.s. This is completely off topic, but I have not touched this blog in close to a year+...and I severely hate this background now, just to clarify. Tis all. Carry on. BRB. G2G. TTYL.